So How Are You feeling Today?

Over the years i have lived with crohns, i have had the standard question and answer 'game' which many of us must endure. 'how are you feeling today'? If i could quantify the occasions this has been asked in relation to my condition i would be a mathematical genius! The reason i pose the question in a headed blog, is the fact that many things are actually going on surrounding this question.
I am sure most non sufferers, who might be loved ones  or friends feel this is a simple straightforward question with no edge to it. In many ways it is. Sadly, in my experience, the question is usually posed with no real expectation of a response detailing how you actually feel, more as a matter of courtesy, this is not intended to slur those who pose the question by the way.
This question is often loaded with the expectation that it is easy to not go into actual details of how you genuinely feel, the pain, anxiety and self doubts, lack of self esteem etc. It actually becomes a ritual which in itself ends up being irrelevant.
All to often, speaking personally, i have offered a simple 'okay' or ' a little better' rather than occupy the time and space going into the feelings of lethargy you might have as a result of acute diarrhea, the pain  and nausea, the insomnia...I am sure I am not alone in not responding honestly because i believe the question is an expression of concern for you, not really a genuine need for a 'blow by blow' account of your state of health.
I would imagine very few crohns patients open up and tell all about how and where they are at at this time. Yet again it becomes another building block to the wall of self deception and putting on a mask of resilience. We become the 'fighter' getting on when we know we might be at our lowest ebb, feeling physically terrible and having so low a self esteem it doesn't register!
To add to this 'mask' we can often show how much control and contentment we have by trying to assist others in  their struggle. As we are offering our support, we might be struggling with our own feelings of low self esteem and panicking about the status of the crohns.
Crohns plays tricks with you making you believe you need to be resilient and determined, don't let it win by admitting weakness or how deep in the depths you are! You play along, thinking it is the best most fruitful character to take on.
I would like to guess that most crohns patients have or have had massive self esteem issues and never told anyone. I would also expect most of us have yearned to be able to scream out 'i can't cope, i need help', but have actually entered into the 'game'.
As i have stated before i believe firmly that crohns is an attack on you mentally as well as physically. The participation in 'adopting a persona' can often deepen the feeling of low self esteem, adding to the physical damage.
To say we need to be honest and open up our hearts and souls sounds easy on paper, but is very hard in practice. Nevertheless, we all know the difference between how we feel and how we portray how we feel. We need to assess the advantages of being open and honest and trying to cope with the entire body, against putting down the blinds and deluded the questioner and more importantly ourselves.